GENERAL HOSPITAL

Recap For The Week of 5/26-5/30

You know that the writing on GH has become so unoriginal because it took me 15 minutes to realize that Monday’s episode was a rerun. In fact if it weren’t for Liz’s preggo belly (which for a moment I thought maybe I had missed a scene where she announced she was pregnant again) I may have gone the entire episode just thinking the writers were doing another stupid hostage crisis. But no, it was indeed a rerun. An unwise choice if you ask me. The writers keep playing with the idea of Alexis and Jerry Jax, and replaying the episode that clearly shows what a sociopath he is, doesn’t help. It also didn’t help in that it reminded us that he’s walking freely among the streets of Port Chuck, after shooting Robin, inadvertently causing Alan’s heart attack (and continued ghostly afterlife in a track suit), plus just being an all around BAD guy. Thanks for reminding us, TIIC. 

I am clearly convinced that Steve Burton is as annoyed and bored with the show as I am. Have you noticed that every time Sonny’s talking to him he has a look on his face like he just wants to plug his ears and say “Na Na Na… I’m not listening to you…NA NA NA..”. Actually, that could be what’s happening for all I know, because actually that is what I do when Sonny starts rambling. Rambling is just what Sonny did as he fought with Jason over taking over the mob. In the Mob world of NEVERLAND that Sonny lives in, he thinks simply signing over the mob to Jason will make him and the family safe. It’s THE MOB, Sonny, not a car! When Jason says that it won’t be enough to keep everyone safe, Sonny accuses Jason of regretting his decision to keep Jake’s paternity a secret, and he wishes he could do what Sonny is doing..Yea, hi kettle, my name is black… I’ve been hating on Jason for a long time now, but these days he’s the only one making any smart decisions around Port Chuck. After seeing the number Sonny’s life has done on everyone, Jason should be shipping Jake off to Timbuktu and keep him as far away as possible. 

Though if he did that, then we wouldn’t be subjected to the annoyingly puppy eyed looks he shoots Elizabeth & baby Jake when they’re looking at boats on the docks with faux dad, Lucky. Give it up Jason, you’re better off alone. Just like you keep saying. Now quit with the puppy dog looks and get back to the job of looking annoyed with everyone.

Meanwhile, over at casa Carly, she has packed her & little Morgan’s bags and ordered Spinelli to give them identities so they can run away. Since Jax is gone, again. If I were Carly, I’d probably be doing the same thing. Jason stops her though. He vows to get Sonny to sign over his parental rights of Michael & Morgan. Spinelli takes it upon himself to tell Sonny that he too, agrees with the idea, and promptly is given a Sonny sized concussion. Is it just me, or is El Stupido (Sonny) only beating up people smaller than him these days? Wasn’t the last person punched out Johnny? You know, a kid who could probably be his grandson? Ever heard of picking on someone your own size El Stupido? 

Sonny then give El Stupidette (Kate) props for keeping her cool in the midst of his tumultuous life. I say give her a room at Shadybrook. That’s where she’ll end up anyway. Excuse me, I didn’t hear the rest of their conversation because I had my hands covering my ears and I was saying “Na Na Na… I can’t hear you…”

Maxie nurses Spinelli while he recovers from said concussion, and somehow he mistakenly thinks they slept together. Strange…he still doesn’t seem stupider than Sonny.

Over at the Mob hut, Anthony uses tired mob movie cliches to threaten Lulu and everyone else, then barks orders. Am I wrong for hoping Tony Soprano will bust in and take them all out? I wonder, does the real mob watch this and laugh, or do they simply weep?

Patrick & Robin win the award for the fastest shift from couple whose most adored to the couple whose most bored…

Jason and Sonny agree that Jason will take over the mob if Sonny signs away rights to the boys. Sonny tells Carly and they hug. A hug of course witnessed by Jax, whose already agreed to give himself and Carly a little distance. This coming after his trip to Europe where he almost saw Brenda. Rumors swirl that Vanessa Marcel is coming back. Van, if you’re reading this, DON”T COME! It’s a trick! They’ll ruin you like everyone else they’ve brought back!! RUN GIRL! RUN!

Anyhow, Jason tells the Zacharra’s that he’s now in charge. This of course gives Anthony more reason to spout more cliches. Including telling slick Ric to woo Claudia and get her to go against Johnny boy. Jason then retaliates his shipment being destroyed by setting fire to the Mob hut. For once, he doesn’t look annoyed as he watches the place burn.

Upon hearing that Sonny has signed away parental rights to the boys, Alexis asks him to do the same for Kristina. He says no, in true El Stupido fashion. 

Sam agrees to help Spinelli become…sexy. Maxie tricks Johnny into coming over to the office where she plants a kiss on him as part of her latest plan to drive Lulu crazy. Jax & Carly decide that they’re going to fight for their marriage. Lucky & Liz suspect that someone is messing with medication over at GH. 

Just another week in Port Chuck.